In a particularly vicious and demoralizing incident, Kade says she was shoved to the ground when the school bell rang and then trampled by students as they exited the locker room.
âI was so passive,â Kade says. âIâd just take it and wouldnât fight back. The teachers didnât give fuck. They just let it happen. I became very introverted. I was a loner without any friends.â
Kadeâs home life wasnât much better. Her motherâwho was 16 when she gave birth to Brittneyâwas addicted to pain pills and unable to care for her daughter. Most nights, Kade slept on the couch in her grandmotherâs living room. Ramen noodles were a staple at dinner.
âI didn't have my own bedroom until I was a teenager," Kade says. "Living that type of childhood really humbled me. I felt so alone. My home life was shit, and then Iâd go to school, and things were even worse.â
By the end of the sixth grade, the bullying had become so intense that Kade had to withdraw from classes and finish her schooling online. A few months laterâat age 13âshe made the decision to transition.
âOnce I dropped out I was like, âThereâs no use hiding. I might as well live my life the way I want to live it.ââ Kade says. âI wasnât dealing with bullies every day, so it got easier."
If anything, Kade used her former tormentors as a source of motivation.
âAll these years later," she says. "I can still picture almost every one of them. I literally hated them so much. The last thing I wanted was to make them happy and âoffâ myself. I was like, âNo, Iâm going to be even more in your face about (my femininity) than ever. Youâre going to hate me even more now.ââ
As she embarked on her life-changing journeyâwhich included going on hormonesâKade went through bouts of depression. Multiple times, during extreme moments of distress, Kade called a suicide hotline funded by the Trevor Project, a group that focuses on suicide prevention among LGBTQ youth.
Eventually, though, Kade found inspirationâand a âsafe spaceââin a rather unlikely place: YouTube.
Each day, Kadeâs spirits were lifted by a group of teenage trans vloggers to whom she could relate. âI was living vicariously through them,â she says. By watching their videos, Kade learned how to do her makeup and hair. And got advice about hormones.
Eventually Kade launched her own YouTube channelâand it became an instant hit. With thousands of worldwide followers tuning in each week, Kade documented the various stages of her transition and opened up about her struggles. She gave fashion tips and became a sounding board for other trans teens.
Kade also began dabbling in modeling. With wadded-up socks in her bra, Kade appeared in magazines and even a handful of commercials. By age 16, Kadeâs story captured the attention of The Daily Mail, and the publication featured her in a profile. "How a transgender teen found confidence by becoming a beautiful woman," the 2016 headline read.
âI was happy to share my story because I know how alone people can feel,â Kade says. âYou literally feel like youâre the only person in the world thatâs dealing with it. But thereâs a whole community out there that has gone through it and comes out on the other side. Sharing your story can literally save lives.â
Still, The Daily Mail article was bittersweet.
Embedded into the story was a video that was supposed to include an interview with her boyfriend, who was the first guy sheâd ever dated or been intimate with. But he backed out of the agreementâand broke up with Brittneyâbecause he didnât want to be âoutedâ for dating a trans girl.
âHe wanted to be stealth and live a life where no one else knew,â Kade says. âIt was the start of a really shitty dating life. Iâve always been fetishized and never really taken seriously. Iâve just been looked at as a fantasy, a secret. If youâre going fetishize me I might as well take advantage of it financially.â